He’s gone. (Move on.)

So this was posted this morning automatically and I felt inspired sitting in the sunshine reminiscing about the last three years of Sam and Nikki’s tumultuous divorce. 

Caged up in my quiet kitchen writing
a text from Nikki that says Sam’s leaving
early November some morning dawning
sipping my coffee while I’m still yawning.

Wrote a letter I never delivered
just wanted better a life without her
told her she was only in the way here
and really hadn’t been his wife in years.

Quite high I did things that I shouldn’t do
sorry’s just a word not my point of view
not my most shiny and not my most true
that was a totally stupid move drew.

Your best friend is not your friend anymore
you wish you knew why you wish you knew more
can’t trust a person walking out the door
my old friend won’t talk to me anymore.

Cold lonely words always making her cry
four years no birthday no word of a lie
won’t listen to reason won’t even try
letting this moment define her whole life.

half songs that won’t come together annoy me.

in a cage of my own anxiety
early morning some November day
Nikki says that Sam’s leaving
says he won’t even talk about it.

I wrote a letter I never delivered
I guess he wanted more
What Sam wanted was in Lisa
It wasn’t in Nikki anymore.

Got really stoned and took it out on his new boo
He got mad and I told him fuck you too.
not my best moment. but I was going through
hard times myself. what can you do.

When your best friend isn’t your friend anymore
I wish I knew why. I wish I knew more
My friend won’t talk to me anymore

When you can’t trust the one you’ve trusted the most.

He can make you cry with a single word
these are dangerous weapons in the hands of your enemy.

four years old and never had a birthday party.

they’d rather think of themselves

Finished.

 

Garden update.

Of course! You’re all dying to know how my plants are coming along. We’re maxed out for space. I would like to plant more but it would mean I need another light and to start another shelf… which is possible but the wife would freak out. I am still considering it. We’ll see.

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Zucchini in the front with the big, sprawling leaves. Broccoli and cauliflower right behind that with the darker, more fluid looking leaves. The violets are on the right and doing very well.

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I worry about my ‘loosey-goosey’ leeks and bunching onions. They’re not growing up straight but they are growing up… we’ll see. Broccoli, cauliflower, and peppers up front. 🙂

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Zinnias in the front left. Broccoli on the right. Orange pot has Evie’s peas. Grey pot on the left is Charlotte’s pole bean she got at the seed exchange.

 

Ghost House by Robert Frost

I dwell in a lonely house I know
That vanished many a summer ago,
And left no trace but the cellar walls,
And a cellar in which the daylight falls
And the purple-stemmed wild raspberries grow.

O’er ruined fences the grape-vines shield
The woods come back to the mowing field;
The orchard tree has grown one copse
Of new wood and old where the woodpecker chops;
The footpath down to the well is healed.

I dwell with a strangely aching heart
In that vanished abode there far apart
On that disused and forgotten road
That has no dust-bath now for the toad.
Night comes; the black bats tumble and dart;

The whippoorwill is coming to shout
And hush and cluck and flutter about:
I hear him begin far enough away
Full many a time to say his say
Before he arrives to say it out.

It is under the small, dim, summer star.
I know not who these mute folk are
Who share the unlit place with me—
Those stones out under the low-limbed tree
Doubtless bear names that the mosses mar.

They are tireless folk, but slow and sad—
Though two, close-keeping, are lass and lad,—
With none among them that ever sings,
And yet, in view of how many things,
As sweet companions as might be had.

Garden reorganization.

So I had planned to do more chores today but they didn’t get done. I put away laundry, started laundry for this week and then I got into my garden. I lost a couple hours on my garden this morning and then I ate lunch and had a nap. When I woke up I decided it was important to blog rather than to do any real chore. Bad man. Oh well it is my day off.

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So my bigger plants were getting too close to the light and my smaller plants were ready for transplant. I also had Charlotte’s bean going out of control. I planted the kids plants into nice pots so they have a better chance to grow. I also pruned and cared for Ann Marie’s grandfather’s violet. She placed the violent on my garden shelf which is passive-aggressive for, .”can you try and save this plant?” I will try. I lowered a shelf to give my taller plants a shelf where they can grow. It was a huge ordeal but I now have two better shelves that should last a little while.

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I took the lid off these sprouts and forgot about them for three days. They were bone dry. I put them in a plate of water and will remember to keep them moist going forward.

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Here you can see that I threw down some tin foil on the base on both the lowered shelf and the top shelf just to maximize reflection from the light.

The plants are all looking strong.

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Here’s the little guys. They’re two weeks behind the stronger ones.

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Friday.

I’m off Friday while Ann Marie has clinical and the kids have school. I’m so excited. I’m going to play guitar, drink coffee, and transplant some more plants. 🙂 Oh, and take a nap. FUCK. YES.

distracted.

so her ass looks good in those jeans but can she make me laugh or dream
and when she rubs my head at night will I think everything is alright

so she puts a little wiggle in her hips but can she still my heart with a kiss
and can she make my house a home and make me feel like I belong