October 31, 2014.

I feel anxiety today. I feel sad today. I can recognize the anxiety because it makes it hard to breathe. It’s harder to recognize the sadness. When I realize I’m sad is when, hour after hour, I’m thinking of old girlfriends. Going a different direction after college. Not being with Ann Marie. Those things are triggers for me to realize that I am sad but they don’t heal the sadness.

I feel like I do it all and it’s never enough. I can’t think or breathe and that makes it worse. Like a mouthful of water when you’re trying to swim.

I know that what you do is near impossible. But when I think you’re doing well I’m happy. So when you say that you’re slipping I slip right along with you.


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