The climax of the best man story.

The entire story of Jeff.

{I sent my mom this email and transcript just 4 days before my wedding}

Hi Mom, Here’s how it happened. Mike is going to need to step up because I need someone.. I’m going home because I want to cry.

{Start the chat}

Me: You in Ottawa?

Jeff: Yeah, couldn’t be in town anymore and I needed time with Jen.

Me: Awesome! You two want to come over for supper ?

Jeff: No thanks.

Me: I really need a best man right now, more than ever. Things are falling apart.

Jeff: What’s falling apart?

Me: Everyone is pissed at everyone. I need to know you’re still my best friend and want to be my best man for more than just “a promise”. You’re my big, dependable friend. You’re pretty upset with me and everyone right now so I can understand if you want to step aside. I wouldn’t hold it against you.

Jeff: I’m not stepping aside. You’re pretty hell-bent on having the perfect wedding so I’m not gonna do anything to fuck it up. I’ll go and be your best man and whatever happens after happens.

Me: Well that’s what I’m not really content with. If it’s in your head that we’re not going to be friends afterwards, which would suck, but it could be the case, then I don’t want to see pictures of a wedding where my best man wasn’t even friends with me anymore. I’m not trying to be rude. It’s your choice. I’m just going off the strong vibe I’m getting from you that you have no interest in being there. If you want to be my best man that’s all I need to hear. If you’re doing it because you promised then you can come and bring Jenna and be a part of everything like everyone else but there are other people who want the role.

Jeff: Great, an ultimatum. This from someone who seemed like he didn’t give a shit the past few days. This from someone who called this whole thing juvenile and the the whole reason for this is not because you want me as a friend but because you want to keep your perfect wedding.

Me: I don’t want to throw 10 years of friendship out the window. When I call you my best friend I don’t do it half hearted.

Jeff: That message has to be the rudest fucking thing you’ve ever said to me man. Do you even understand how much that hurts? Other people want the role? Great. Fuck off to you to them. I’m glad you give a fuck about me. Sorry that you had to lie to me all this time and this whole thing that you guys kept from me had to come when your wedding was happening. NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!

Me: I never said it was.

Jeff: Yeah well your words are putting this all on me. :Decide now man if you wanna be my best man or not because if not I have replacement friends”. “Because everything needs to be perfect.” Not once did you ask how I was feeling or anything like that, this whole time, it’s just, “Are you coming?”, “You still going be my best man?” Sam’s the only one who actually sat down and talked with me and listened to what I had to say. He asked me how I felt and actually gave a shit about this whole thing.

Me: Well you are obviously still very upset.

Jeff: And that’s all you have to say?

Me: I have no idea what you’re going through. I’ve been sick all weekend so we haven’t had a chance to talk. I feel bad you had to hear about what Rob and Nikki did while she is obviously still important to you. I am also sad that you finding out I invited her to our wedding hurt our friendship. I want everything to be okay. But it seems more and more like it’s not going to be okay for quite some time.

Jeff: I don’t care what she does. I care that everyone kept it from me. You’ve kept numerous things from me; the sex thing, and the invitation thing. To top it all off you don’t seem to give a shit about anything other than this Saturday.

Me: You’re right. It’s only the most important day of my life. How selfish of me. Nikki and Rob were none of my business. Telling you was not my place, or Sam’s. You expect me to go behind everyone’s back at your convenience to tell you what really isn’t any of your business in the first place? Even comparing it to my coming marriage shows me how selfish you are being. I’m getting MARRIED! You are angry because I’m asking you if you want to be at my wedding? It’s more than that, I want you to be the most important person at that wedding besides Ann Marie.

Jeff: I’m selfish? Wow! You need to take your head out of your ass.

Me: Okay. that’s enough. I’ve heard more than enough..

Jeff: So does that mean you are making another decision for me?

Me: No I think this conversation speaks for itself. So you don’t completely fuck it up the next time! http://www.confetti.co.uk/weddings/advice_ideas/run_up/bestman.asp

Jeff: Alright, find yourself another best man because you clearly don’t give a fuck about our friendship, which according to you is now officially ended.

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One thought on “The climax of the best man story.

  1. Pingback: Jeff | Brains to Byzantium

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