Emptiest moment of my 17th year.

Emptiness plagues me, but to this plague there is no death to end the suffering and pain. No greater happiness could i have lost than one not yet to come. Self interest pushes me to torture myself, but the desire for freedom and contentment is greater. A subconscious battle from which will come no victory, or in which the defeat has a more appealing future.

The struggle through the uncertainty and darkness, searching for open arms to hold my head, a heart to hear my soul cry out. Too many burdens held within, burning inside out, finding paths through the darkness ahead of me, destroying hearts before the open arms and yielding hearts before I even have a chance to see, or even feel the warmth and compassion held for me.