Where did this come from?

{Undated.}

Before you read this entry you should read this required reading.

Katrina. Maybe my worst enemy, maybe my only chance at a girlfriend. I love her like I was always her boyfriend, but I have a pathetic, useless, almost ashamed feeling when I am with her in public. It’s as if I don’t want to be with her when people are around. It scares me to think that I want to get back with her, but I can’t stop thinking about her and Emily.

Emily I think of differently. She is a good friend, for whom I do have feelings for, but I try to remain on the outs with her. I don’t know why {Yes you do.} but for some reason I can’t help but feel pain when I talk to her. I can’t stop hating Gord, but yet I show a happy “Gord is the best” aura whenever I talk about him. I don’t know! I hate everything! I’m confused! I just want to understand!

I wish I knew how Katrina feels about me. I think I would get back together with her if I could. {No! You idiot!} 

Then I get to be a three time loser when she dumps me again. {Woah! I do know what she’s doing to me. Shocker!} Sarcasm of course {Dammit man! Which is it?!}, but this is the girl I followed around like a lap dog just because she winked at me every once in a while, or played with sexual innuendos. But I finally got her so I have something above and beyond all others who have tried for her. {Oh you idiot. You deserve better!} I don’t need to look at myself as being not good enough for her so she dumped me, but as not being able to control myself. It was my fault that she dumped me and now I’m just trying to win her back. {However you want to frame it, loser.}

If I get the opportunity to date her again her sister would know why she dumped me in the first place which would make me uncomfortable in any social situation. {She had a sister? Man I’ve forgotten a lot in 18 years.}

I also would have to await the “opinions” {I would really love to know what 1998 Andrew thinks quotations around a word means.} of Jeff and Chad which would be sure to come after the found out. unless I didn’t tell them… {Yeah because you know damn well they will think you’re an idiot for going back to Katrina to be toyed with some more. She did let you grope her boob though, so… maybe?}

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