Weed is not all it’s cracked up to be.

{Undated.}

{I’m no doctor but I am pretty sure I know the problem. See if you can spot it.}

It’s fuckin’ 20 to 12 and I can’t sleep for the 4th night in a row! I feel so shitty. I can’t sleep! Not only do I have exams in two days I have to supposedly start my full time job next week. Assuming I get it, then I have a whole new thing to worry about. A full time job?! For Christ’s sake! {Hey now. No need to take the Lord’s name in vain.} I have a dentist appointment next week too! What the fuck? I need to relax! I just want it all to go away.

My dad saw my plant. {Oh yeah! Like a retard I tried to grow a pot plant in in my window sill! Totally forgot about that. My mom found it and asked what it was. I said “carrots”. She didn’t buy it… because she’s not stupid. I’m such a dummy. I also used to come into the house stoned out of my mind and take that opportunity to sit down next to my dad and chat so he’d know everything was OK. Teen’s really do think their parents are stupid. I wonder what was going through his mind.} I don’t know what’s wrong with me! It’s as if I’m asking to be caught, asking for a hard time. They are already disappointed in me, it’s as if I want them to hate me more. I don’t even know what my problem is. I have to become normal again. At least in the eyes of my parents. he he.

PS. I need a girlfriend still! {If you weren’t a prize before you’re a prize now, that’s for sure!} I just want to kiss a girl. That’s all! It ain’t much. I want her to want to kiss me back. {Well I would hope so! There’s a word for guys that don’t; rapist.}

{If you haven’t guessed young me’s physical problems they’re related to being a broke 16 year old who can’t afford to keep his high going. Weed is great for mellowing some people out. Unfortunately. like caffeine, if your brain gets used to the high you need it to feel normal. So not being able to afford to get high every day caused me on sober days to be short-fused and full of anxiety.}

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s