Dreaming of true love.

{Undated.}

It’s been a while since I’ve written in this thing. It caused a very uncomfortable situation at Xmas and I’d rather not get into it. I can go to Ottawa now, and to me, that’s all that really matters. I don’t know, or remember what is written last in this book, and quite frankly I’d like to forget most of it.

I’ve done pot. I liked it. I have no intention of stopping. It hasn’t caused me to do anything I’d regret and until it does I see no reason to stop. In fact, I’m planning a small session with Chad and I after the film.

I  guess the real reason I wanted to write again was brought on by a very disheartening dream I had the misfortune of dreaming last night. {Run on sentence. Argh.} I’ve experienced dreams where when I woke up and wished it wasn’t over, or wished I still had what I was dreaming about, but this was different, I lost the one thing that is almost impossible to find, true love.

The dream started with a new girl in school, she never really had a face, or a look. just a personality as if she was made of emotion. The only feature I clearly recall was her hair. She had the fullest, most deep brown hair I have ever seen. It was pulled back into a pony tail, but you could feel how perfect it was just by seeing it.

We left the school. We were in the back seat of a car being driven somewhere. I think it was a nature spot of some sort. We spent hours in my mind flirting. In the reality of the dream we had barely reached the end of the school parking lot. {I’m as confused as you are…} Then I felt it. It was warm, soft, and innocent. It felt like her tongue had just pecked me on the chin. I could feel a direct stream of her love flowing into me. I’ve never experienced a more content, happy, loved feeling in my entire life. {Sounds like you got high and fell asleep… but I don’t have any evidence to support this conclusion. I’m just guessing.} There was a brief pause before I softly nuzzled my head into her hair, feeling its perfection. This only extended the feeling of bliss a few more minutes before I am torn away from this heaven into the cruel world that I hate being alone in.

I have never felt a larger feeling of emptiness in my entire life. {Seems like a crazy feeling but I have led a pretty charmed life. I, at 35, still have all of my aunts, uncles and grandparents. Touch wood. So I’ve never suffered any loss at this point.} Even in the simplicity of the dream I felt pure love in this faceless woman, and a piece of my heart I believe was left there when I woke. {Is he romantic? Is he a pot head? Both?}

I spent the better part of the day thinking about this dream, pondering its meaning. {Remember what it was like to have free time?! Me neither.} Maybe an insight or two into the future? Who knows?

Am I too young {Yes.} to be thinking of true love? {Definitely.} I’d like to think there is someone out there for me. I just don’t know if I should be so serious about relationships right now. The thought is heartwarming and makes every part of me yearn {I yearned… LOL} for the one person to have a long and meaningful relationship.

{Included at the bottom of the page. A brilliant idea for the future.}

Insight into the future. “1-800-YOU-LIVE” horoscope hotline. $2.00 a call, home written horoscopes, publishing daily. Large profit. Nation wide.

{Clearly I was no Steve Jobs}

Water Nymph

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