Serious questions.

{Undated. Stands to reason it’s not January anymore…}

It’s been so long. For some reason, written expression is no longer appealing to me. Never the less, I feel it will better me, not only in my state of mind but in my state of being.

Serious questions have arose within me about myself. I’m finding myself depressed that I do not have a girlfriend. {This from a guy who had a girlfriend for all of 18 days.} People, mainly mom, are always saying that I need to go and get one but that is easier said than done. She also said that it doesn’t have to be a perfect girl. Just one to practice on. What the fuck does that mean, mom?! I can’t treat a woman like that. {You fool!} This is why I’m torn. AG is incredibly nice and fun girl and I think she’s attractive but my friends to not. {Remember when what your friends thought could actually influence your life in a significant way?} I keep thinking that if I like her nothing else should matter, but I can’t break away from my friend’s opinions. I am going to try to get close to her, as much as possible without bringing attention to it, and if I truly care about her then fuck them all! I’ll do what I feel in my heart to be right.

I am a day away from second semester. And, suffice it to say I am in complete physical pain. Every joint, muscle, and bone in my body hurts. I can barely stand up. Oh well, I’m not going to be a baby, I think woman find that to be weak, so I’m going to say what happened and live with it. MACHO MAN! WOO!

I got a name for my bong now. Get ready to meet and greet “Bada bing bada bong!” Cool name. Fairly original and clever too! YaA!

Jeff and I are going to Boston this summer, {Not surprisingly we never did.. I wasn’t even dating NR at this point so an 8 hour drive seems unreasonable.} I don’t know what I’m going to say to Natalie yet. I keep rehearsing it to myself and I’ve got like 5 more months. Oh well, I’m going to go on July 3rd. I don’t want to ruin her second July 4th in a row, and it’s a good chance her boyfriend (very aggravated) will  be there, and kick my ass.

I’m sure Jeff would enjoy a good fight, but I would not. It would be very disruptive, prove nothing and piss Natalie off which would defeat the entire point.

Oh! Bout’ the bong, yes, I have done pot, yes it was cool, Katie may look at me funny tomorrow. (I asked her to suck my dick while I was baked.) But I guess I’ll have to live with it. Ha, ha, ha! {This is a revelation! I’ve seen her many times since high school and she’s always given me the cold shoulder. Now it makes sense. She thinks I’m a pig and has pretty solid evidence to back it up! God damn drugs!}


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