Monday, December 1, 1997.

This sux! {Deep breaths. Try and be cool!} I got dumped by Katrina AGAIN! {I honestly cannot remember being dumped any other time than this once.} Fucking second time with the same girl! Never again! I will go out with her again if she wants {Ha! So big of you… wait! What?} (…just hold on!) but it would only be for the physical shit. {Look who put on his pimp hat!} Never again do I care about her. She no longer exists to me. {Harsh.}

{Holy fuck the next part just totally fucked with me. I’m a little high. This blew my mind. The next sentence is written in a different pen with black ink…} (just wait, you (I) will realize that you (I) love her.) {Mind=blown. *makes explosion noises*} 

The need for a girlfriend is strong when you don’t have anyone after having someone for the last five months. {When did I have her?! 5 months? You started dating around the 12th of November. I know. I journaled about it! There must have been some relationship and breakup I imagined. This makes no sense.} 

I’m still pissed that Natalie could have driven up here and I could have gotten some over the holidays. {I get the real sense that sex was like the Polkaroo at this point in my life.} I guess all I need is another bitch to make shit cool again. {Who is this person? ‘Another bitch’? Holy fuck dude. Kiss your mother with that mouth? How exactly is a bitch going to make shit cool anyway?!}

I’ve got my sights on a few, but nothing I really want right now. I think I want to go after Emily {I don’t think this Emily is my Emily.} (Jeff’s ex GF’s best friend.), she’s cute. She’s got the most amazing aura around her. She seems to be an all around fun girl. She has the coolest hair. It’s blond (bleached I think) and it’s shoulder length and curly. It’s not my usual {LOL! Usual?!} But I like it. I like it a lot. 🙂

The last week I’ve gone from shit to alright. {So what’s that like a 3 to a 7?} I’ve felt something different every day and most of the time it was depressing. To quote Bart Simpson, “Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel.” So if I ever care about her again, it will be too soon.

{Oh here comes the goods!}

She dumped me because I ‘crowded her’, was too ‘there’, I was ‘smothering her’ or some stupid shit. I don’t know. She never gave me any warning or anything. All she had to do was tell me to give her space. I can’t believe that she just dumped me! I mean she obviously didn’t care too much about what we had. {18 beautiful days of waiting for her to call and some groping.} Oh well, I can live without that psychopath. All I need is my girlfriend calling and telling me she was going to kill herself. {Wow this is surreal. I just got a flashback of dozens of depressed Katrina phone calls. I talked her through so much. My feelings for her in this journal might not be as superficial as I thought. I’m a regular Florence Nightingale!} I had enough of that shit when we were just friends. It would hit closer to home if she was my girlfriend. {Awe! Now that I remember this seems so sad that you would stop caring about her. I know you were only saying that in the hopes that you’d believe it.} So I’m glad I got out of that one. {Poor guy.}

Well there’s only 22 days until Xmas and I’m glad for that. I don’t have to put up with any more torture once I know what I got. 😉 It’s cool. I know I’m going to receive a scanner or a Discman for Xmas. You’d think that knowing I got one or the other would make the torture easier  but its tearing me in two instead of into 50. So it’s a more precise torture. {Spoiled brat!}

I think it could be a Discman more because I asked for like 15 CDs too. So it would work out neatly. But then again I always love getting computer stuff. So she knows this so I haven’t got a clue. That blows! {I got both the Discman and the scanner because I was than now and still am spoiled rotten by my mother and father.}



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