Sunday November 16, 1997 (2).

{Written the same day as the last entry.}

When I started seeing Katrina Lisa asked me “are you using her?”. I was like “No! Of course not.” This kind of worried me. Was I? I know I’m not but does it seem like I am? I don’t want it too. I left Natalie. That shit is behind me, all I see before me is Katrina.

I only have one problem. {99 problems but a bitch ain’t one. No? Totally inappropriate dude. Hey, lighten up.} Every time I get close to Katrina I get a hard on. {Ok woah. I can’t believe I went there! So embarrassing…. :S} It’s a little embarrassing. {You think?} It shows I like it though which makes me sure I’m going to “enjoy our relationship. šŸ™‚ {Yes, yes. You are excited for sex. Stop beating around the bush. Why do you talk about hard ons one minute and then pretend that you’re not after pussy in the next?}

When we were standing at the phones, she was talking to her dad, I was holding her tightly, and I pulled her hair off her shoulder and kissed her shoulder and neck softly.  I loved it. {35 year old me wonders if she liked it… That clearly doesn’t matter to 16 year old me.} She felt hot on my lips. I knew she enjoyed it. She tilted her head and sort of hinted for more. It was my pleasure to obey. If she liked that I know I’m going to have fun making her feel good. {Wasn’t Katrina lucky to have her own personal Don fucking Juan?}

I still think about my 1st kiss. It drives me crazy. It wasn’t a peck. It wasn’t a simple passionate kiss. It was a FRENCH kiss. {What an asshole.} I always wondered what it would feel like, but most of all, what is would taste like. {Gross dude. Like a second hand poutine or something? Ew.} It had no taste to me. Although knowing her saliva was in my mouth made me hard whenever I thought about it.

Sandra Bullock Fluid Transfer Meme

I always worried my tongue would not be long enough, or too big, stupid things like that. All my problems seemed to disappear as soon as our lips touched.

I could tell Katrina wasn’t new to this. I (like a beginner) had my eyes open. I always thought that that meant you didn’t want it. Well … I wanted it. I loved it. {Are you sure?} I won’t make that mistake again with kiss number 3. {Hard to fathom being this excited over two kisses… but I was, clearly.} You enjoy it a LOT! more. It’s as if your sense of passion {Sense of passion… that’s new.} elevates without sight.

I’ve been thinking. I never really stop, but ‘ya know’. Anyways, I kinda wonder if KH knows about a simple passionate kiss. Like just sucking on each other’s lips. Both times we’ve been alone we’ve ‘frenched’. NOT THAT I’M COMPLAINING of course, just curious. {I’ve got nothing to say… is that really a question? Does KH know about normal kissing… fuck me.}

Ok, 1 more thing. I know it’s a lot, but I just got this journal and you’re lucky I’m not catching it up on everything I’ve thought about in my life. he he he {You’re not fucking kidding.} Like the JM thing, and the Kathleen thing, and the Rebecca thing. {The three other girls I’ve had crushes on by this point in my life. Let us all thank God he didn’t go there.}

Anyways! I just wanted to comment that I really miss Katrina right now. It’s passed 9:00pm so I think it’s too late for her to be on the phone. I called her twice yesterday, and I don’t want to bug her today because I think she knows I want to talk to her. I just think it’s cause she wants to talk or spend time with her daddy. She barely sees him and this time, for some new boyfriend reason, she was looking forward to it.

Well I’m pretty sure that is all for the night.

Til’ next time!
Peace out!

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