Thursday, November 13, 1997.

{Marginalia} Pencil will eventually fade into nothingness. I do not want my thoughts to fade into nothingness. I will not let them, for I know where they will truly be, now and forever, in me. {That’s deep.}

{In my neatest cursive}


Today is the 13th of November. I started going out with Katrina today. O.K. I know, why? Well here’s the thing. Pay attention.

Two days ago (Tuesday) there was a fire in school so the alarm went and we cleared the school.

I was standing there shivering with about 3 of my buds. I joked about wanting a woman to keep me warm. Who knew I would do this.

As if in total forgetfulness of Natalie, I started searching for the woman to warm me. In the distance I saw Katrina shivering.

I told Scott I’d BrB.

As I approached her I could see she was freezing, I wrapped my arms around her and told her I was cold and needed her to keep me warm.

At first I found this to be an innocent act. After a few minutes we walked back over to our group. There were a few allegations but I took no notice.

After the alarm stopped my heard sunk thinking that I would have to let her go. Walking back to the school she told me my hands were cold, followed by here, pulled open her coat and PLACED my hand on her breast. {the word ‘tittie’ excitedly written above} (I rubbed and felt it.) What can I say? I was curious. 🙂 That night I was a little shocked at what had happened. All that day people were asking and commenting on the “fire alarm thing”. It was as if I skipped 1st base and headed directly to 2nd. Which was weird b/c I’ve never even kissed a girl before. I had little to no idea what I was feeling.

The next day people were still curious about “the fire drill thing”. I kept saying that we were just friends trying to keep warm. Their “whatevers” and “yeah rights” showed disbelief.

I talked to Katrina about it after computers. {It was the 90s so there was actually classes to introduce us generally to these ‘new fangled’ machines.} We talked about how we felt and what to do about it. She said she liked it. I smiled but said nothing.

After walking around we decided by the phones {pay phones… google them} that we would just be friends with a secret relationship.

As we got up and walked away I pulled her into me, out of view, under the stairs. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I felt so warm. After a few minutes or seconds (I can’t really recall) I pulled away and we leaned on each other’s foreheads. I just stood there staring into the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

Nothing could have prepared me for this. I slowly, not even realizing it, moved my lips closer to hers. She followed. I watched her lips coming closer and closer. Finally she seemed to pounce on my lips. At first I thought “Ok just a kiss” but then I felt her tongue searching for mine. I started to feel it and it was an amazing feeling. I calmed down and just went with it.

I’ve always been told by Dan that I will “just know” and to “just go with it”. So I did and I loved it.

At this point Katrina and I were still “just friends” and and I’d still be going out with Natalie. All I could think about was that kiss. That kiss never left my mind at all that night.

That night, laying in bed, I decided the right thing to do would be to leave Natalie for Katrina.

I got to school and once there I knew Katrina had already told her best friend, Emily. So I told Jeff and Emily that I was going to break up with Natalie.

Jeff, knowing Natalie, was completely unsupportive. Emily, knowing Katrina was totally for it. Emily told me Katrina wouldn’t say no so I was very confident.

I walked to Carol’s office and found Katrina there. I “moved” Rob S and wrapped my arms around Katrina. She was surprised. After all it was a secret. I whispered “I’m leaving Natalie” and her grip lovingly tightened.

We both smiled and we knew we were going out.

I couldn’t keep my mind off my girlfriend for the rest of the day. But I knew that in the end I was going to have to go home and end it with the woman I loved more than life itself.

There was no way to do it without destroying her. I was shocked and a little scared that she knew before I even got home. I was instantly bombarded with insults like a sniper just waiting

“Son of a BANG!” *cocks gun*
“Son of a BOOM!” *cocks gun* (he he he (Seinfeld))

I had nothing to say, nothing I could do to keep this friend. Thank god for bad programmers at Mirabilis {before Facebook messenger there was MSN Messenger, before MSN Messenger there was Mirabilis ICQ… yes, NR was an internet girlfriend.} else I’d be on her ignore list. 

I couldn’t tell her that she couldn’t provide for me, but Jeff had already made her think that. I tried begging, pleading, apologizing, and reasoning but the cause was lost. Jeff had already given Natalie her own opinion. It was all true but I could have made it out as a good thing. I know it sounds stupid but I wouldn’t have told her about my other relationship, so she would not have felt half as bad.

All I could think about was how inconsiderate, nosey, and insensitive Jeff was to let her know. I wanted to kill him! We worked it out and we’re buds again now so just chill, k? 🙂

After that horrible ordeal all I thought about was Katrina, my girlfriend! It sounds so much better than ‘Net GF’. I can kiss her, feel her lips, her warmth, and hear her voice whenever we talk.

I would have expected myself to be more upset but I wasn’t. I already had an amazing thing going. And best of all I GOT SOME TONGUE! Woo! {the o’s were made to look like glasses.}

Til’ next time I’m outtie. {omfg}

Yearbook Girl 1


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